Looking Back...

Its been nearly one year since the most horrific day of my life. Not the day Brody passed away peacefully at home, but the day Joss and I performed CPR on Brody in full arrest some 100 miles from home. I couldn't help but pull up the post from that day....
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Horror
Yesterday was the most horrific and traumatic day of our lives. The events keep replaying in our minds. Haunting us. Tormenting us. We had been at Primary's for a regular check-up. On the way home, we stopped in Provo to get some food to go. I went into Cafe Rio and when I came out, I could hear Joss' piercing screams. I ran to his side to find that Brody had apparently began choking. He tried to suction and couldn't get into his trachea. He immediately pulled Brody from the car and layed him on the snowy asphalt to do an emergency trach change. The trach went in briefly and came back out. We called 911 and worked together to do CPR the best we could. He went into full arrest. We worked on his lifeless blue body desperately. No heart beat, no breaths for upwards of 7 minutes before he was finally revived by paramedics at Utah Valley Hospital. He was soon transported by air back to Primary's. We were sure he wouldn't survive the flight. We contacted our families to come say goodbye. But when we arrived in the PICU, he was semi-conscious and fighting for life. There is much trauma to his body and only time will tell what his neurological state is. All we can do is PRAY!
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.... The days that followed showed some short-lived improvement up until May 12 when we confronted the medical staff as to why they were dodging our questions of dialysis. It was then that they told us he just wasn't a good candidate because his future was so uncertain anyway. And, well, you all know how the story ends.

The next few weeks might be rough for us. A time of painful memories and "what-if"s. But if given the opportunity to raise Brody all over again, I wouldn't hesitate. He made us who we are today and for that we are forever indebted to our little Brody Kazody ... our Angel Boy.