Monday, November 23, 2009

The Song

As most of you know, I work as a 911 Dispatcher. Arguably one of the hardest professions due to the often upsetting nature of the calls. I think anyone in this line of work has to be strong emotionally but also very empathetic. This being said, I do not rattle easily. I very rarely cry for any reason whatsoever to the point I often wonder if I am emotionally vacant. But I guess every person has their breaking point. This was mine...

I was at work a few nights ago. We had CNN playing on the TV in the background as usual. It was a particularly slow moment so I was quietly looking through some things on my computer. Then I hear this song....

This particular song is one that I had never heard in my life until the day before Brody passed away. It fit every aspect of my emotions at the time. Enough so that we used it as part of his slide-show video to be used at his funeral. I listened to this song a few times shortly thereafter but I'm not sure I have listened to it in a years time....

That's when I realized that this commercial on TV was playing THAT SONG. My Brody's song. And like nothing I have encountered in the 18 mo since his death.... It brought it ALL back! The 4 yrs of his life. His sweet face and his determination to overcome life's struggles... to the day we performed CPR on him ... to have him be revived only to have to discontinue life support some 30 days later.

As I sat there at work, I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. I quickly blew it off and carried on without saying a word or shedding a tear, but I have to say-- it hurt. A LOT!!! Like nothing I have experienced since his death. I guess subtle reminders are to be expected but I was shocked at how it struck me. I think maybe I've tried to suppress some things and to be so strong emotionally that I might have forgotten how it all felt during the final days of his life.

And as that song broke the silence, it all came rushing back. If only for a moment, I remembered exactly who I am and what my family has overcome. I was reminded of the moments and circumstances that made me who I am today. There is a plaque above the fireplace in my home that reads "because I knew you I have been changed for good".

I am eternally grateful to my sweet angel Brody for being such an inspiration to so many people and for all that he has helped me to become. I love you, buddy! And as the song says "I miss you"

Friday, October 23, 2009

Expensive Shoes

Last Saturday, Joss called me at work to inform me that he was taking Kaybri to the ER. Of course this startled me but I was confused when he started laughing. Evidentally she had shoved a Barbie shoe up her nose and couldn't retrieve it. Joss had tried with tweezers and couldn't get it. Kaybri was quite upset and so Joss made me talk to her to calm her down. They went to the ER and got it pulled out. Kind of funny but that is turning out to be one EXPENSIVE shoe.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Elk Hunt

Saturday, we got to go on the mountain for Tandi's elk hunt. Kaybri started out the day pretty rough. She was quite tired and just not herself. Having sick kids while camping is the pits! But as the day went on, she started to come around more and more. I didn't get a chance to go out hiking at all (which sucks because I was REALLY looking forward to it) but just getting out in the mountain air, eating dinner next to the campfire and gazing at all those stars was good enough for me! Kaybri had fun. Thats all that matters....
Kaybri striking a pose on the "bridge" (log over a dried up creek bed)
Killing time at camp in the heat of the day
My cute little girl
Me and Kaybri cheesing it (I should've deleted this one. Not flattering at all....)
Joss and Kaybri resting up. (Isn't he the moodiest looking thing?!)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Blah Blah Blah... (never anything new to blog)

Oh, how I have neglected my blog....

I just don't know that I have that much going on in my life right now. We've had a lot of family reunions lately. Nothing to report there. Just a bunch of people with cameras. Everybody hugging everybody. You know how it is!

This morning, I was told that my great grandma passed away in her sleep. She was 91 yrs old and what a way to go! I will miss her so much but if anybody deserved such a peaceful passing, it was her!

Joss has just been working like a mad man. I can't believe that a year ago we had tens of thousands of dollars we owed for Brody's medical bills. Now we are through the majority of them and almost back up on our feet.

Kaybri has been a joy. Always learning new things. And she is SO sassy. I love it.... I feel really guilty because where Joss and I are both working nights now, she splits her week between Grandma Lori and Grandma Lisha (Joss' mom and my mom). I wish I could spend more time with her, but she doesn't mind a bit. In fact, she'd rather be at Grandma's anyday.
As for me, I've just been busy with work and I'm loving it. Most everybody I work with (dispatchers and officers) are awesome and a lot of fun to work with.

So there you have it, nothing much going on! I can tell you this: Joss and I are in the market for a serious vacation! So if anybody is interested in going to Cancun for a week, just let me know. lol. yeah right. Did I say Cancun? I meant St George! Like I could afford a week in Mexico! ;)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

4th of July

We spent the first half of our day with family doing the BBQ thing. Steak, baked beans, loaded taters... Mmmm. From there, I left to go to work. It has been quite busy but nothing the group of us can't handle. Joss and Kaybri went to the parade, the rodeo and the fireworks. Joss is exhausted but I'm sure he and Kaybri had a great day together. He is also quite the guy for taking Kaybri out to the movie last night. Just the two of them--Ice Age 3. She talked about it all day and begged him to take her back. She's had so much excitement the past few days, she might sleep for a week (I know Joss and I will).

Hope everyone had a great 4th!!