Dearest Brody...

Our Dearest Brody,
Its been nearly one year since we said goodbye to you. By far the hardest thing we have ever done and may possibly ever do. We miss you terribly and think about you often. Occasionally I can still see you lying there on the living room floor--cross legged, watching Cars and munching on Fruit Loops. I can still hear your laughter. That sweet infectious laughter. I remember your cute stubby fingers and those tiny little feet. I remember when you first fell in love with M&M's--a love that only grew stronger in time. I remember mixing those M&M's in your potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner so we could get you to show any interest in eating. I remember when you learned to crawl. It was short lived but it was an incredible triumph! I remember how you loved "peek-a-boo" when you were little. I remember how well behaved you were on those long car rides back and forth to Primary Children's. I can still see you "dancing" in the back seat along with the beat of the music. I remember how much you loved to swim. How much you loved your puppies. How much you loved your sippy cup. How much you loved your family. How much strength and determination you had in everything you did. And I remember how hard it was to lose you.... and how hard it continues to be. Brody, thank you for blessing our lives for those 4 short years. Your memory and legacy will live on forever. You have touched more hearts in 4 years than most people do in a lifetime. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good. We love you and miss you! Until we meet again....

Love,
Mom, Dad and Kaybri Jo

Karen Harwood

Last week, Joss grandmother died after decades of battle against MS. We are saddened to see her go but are glad she is no longer in pain. Although I never had much of an opportunity to get to know her, I can say this--she was an amazing woman with a great outlook on life. She never complained and always saw the good in everything and everyone. She is truly one of heaven's angels and will be missed.

Easter

Easter was pretty good this year. We made it a point not to overdo it with Kaybri's Easter basket. She has plenty of everything. I wasn't even sure what else she could possible need or want so she got a bunch of candy, a book, and a dress. Good enough!! She loved it. Easter Sunday I had to work but did get to spend the morning with Joss and Kaybri. Then they went to Joss' parents house for dinner.

That weekend I had the opportunity to go to Little Sahara Sand Dunes for work. Let me tell ya... it was crazy out there. 35,000 people stuffed into a campground for Spring Break. The work wasn't too chaotic, luckily. But I sure felt bad for the greatly outnumbered officers out there.

In other news, Brody's headstone was put in a couple weeks ago. It turned out really nice I think. (I have pics but I'll have to post them later.... Sorry)

For Joss, work has been hit and miss. Mostly hit, thank goodness! But everyday is a little stressful since they have been doing so many lay-offs. Nobody's job is safe at this point. We just hold our breath and hope for the best.

Kaybri has been especially well behaved lately. (Its been a little weird to be honest) She has been very polite and good to help out around the house. I hate to think that she is growing up. Also, she has found a new hobby--puzzles. She absolutely loves them. She has about 8 of them that consist of 24 pieces. She'll dump them all out in a pile together and sort through all the puzzles in about 30 minutes. Not too shabby.

Other than that, nothing new! Hope everyone had a good Easter and is enjoying the slightly warmer weather.

Looking Back...

Its been nearly one year since the most horrific day of my life. Not the day Brody passed away peacefully at home, but the day Joss and I performed CPR on Brody in full arrest some 100 miles from home. I couldn't help but pull up the post from that day....
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Horror
Yesterday was the most horrific and traumatic day of our lives. The events keep replaying in our minds. Haunting us. Tormenting us. We had been at Primary's for a regular check-up. On the way home, we stopped in Provo to get some food to go. I went into Cafe Rio and when I came out, I could hear Joss' piercing screams. I ran to his side to find that Brody had apparently began choking. He tried to suction and couldn't get into his trachea. He immediately pulled Brody from the car and layed him on the snowy asphalt to do an emergency trach change. The trach went in briefly and came back out. We called 911 and worked together to do CPR the best we could. He went into full arrest. We worked on his lifeless blue body desperately. No heart beat, no breaths for upwards of 7 minutes before he was finally revived by paramedics at Utah Valley Hospital. He was soon transported by air back to Primary's. We were sure he wouldn't survive the flight. We contacted our families to come say goodbye. But when we arrived in the PICU, he was semi-conscious and fighting for life. There is much trauma to his body and only time will tell what his neurological state is. All we can do is PRAY!
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.... The days that followed showed some short-lived improvement up until May 12 when we confronted the medical staff as to why they were dodging our questions of dialysis. It was then that they told us he just wasn't a good candidate because his future was so uncertain anyway. And, well, you all know how the story ends.

The next few weeks might be rough for us. A time of painful memories and "what-if"s. But if given the opportunity to raise Brody all over again, I wouldn't hesitate. He made us who we are today and for that we are forever indebted to our little Brody Kazody ... our Angel Boy.

Photo Recovery

I've been trying to retrieve my photos from my memory card that was erased. I don't want to praise this program too highly as I have not finished the whole process but tonight I was able to preview the photos that the program was able to retrieve. Nearly 500 things between pix and flix! I am so happy! I never thought I'd see them again. I'm not sure how much this is going to end up costing me as I did not complete the purchase of the license agreement yet. But when I do, I will be sure to let everyone know. Whatever the cost, it will be worth it!! ....

http://www.cardrecovery.com