This past week has been especially difficult for me. Wednesday marked 6 weeks since Brody died and the day also brought more bad news. We discovered that a family member has a potentially serious illness. Out of respect to this person and at their request, I will not discuss this in any more detail. The following days brought a lot of tears. Tears for Brody. I've found that I can not fight the tears off. I wept like a baby in church a couple weeks ago for no reason whatsoever. Another time I was in Wal Mart and just began to bawl as I stood next to the bath towels. Again, with no association to anything in particular. Yesterday had to be the worst. We were role playing in our Sunday School class (Marriage and Family Relations). We saw the chair that had "Death of a Loved One" posted on it and was careful to avoid that seat. As the role playing went forward, the topic soon turned to loss of a child and all eyes were on Joss and I. We began to cry. Joss stood up and excused himself from the room. I remained there in heavy tears as people talked about us and to us. It was totally harmless and was not meant to be directed at us, but it just went that direction. It was difficult to handle. But I am really appreciative of the members in that class who helped us to let our emotions show. We went straight to the cemetery after church and wept. Kaybri ran around chasing butterflies next to Brody's grave. Thank heavens for her! She helps keep us going. We love her and Brody so much and always will!
1 year ago